Performance fantasies

I have found a way to turn the secret life of this Walter Mitty to my advantage. From my childhood onward, I relished daydreams of being able to sing well enough to get major radio airplay. These fantasies did not involve writing songs or even putting a fresh twist on a cover song. I often could not resist imagining what it would be like to sing a hit song with perfect fidelity to the original. For years, this was an embarrassing habit, for I don’t sing all that well. To even entertain the possibility of being able to sing like Aretha Franklin bordered on a delusion of grandeur. For a time, this contributed to depression because I kept thinking that I was not entitled to imagine doing the impossible. Isn’t that what an imagination is uniquely suited for?

When I had agoraphobia, my therapist suggested that I imagine being successful at venturing out instead of staying home over catastrophic predictions of what could go wrong away from home. At the time I considered that it would do no harm to try to imagine success at something practical even if the outcome did prove negative. Life is full of false predictions, so go with ones that are uplifting (kind of like it being better to be a fool with faith than a fool without it).

It took me more years to see that there was also benefit to imagining success at something impractical, like being able to sing a hit. Just let go of the embarrassment of likely failure (there will only ever be one Aretha, after all), and imagine mastery, the capacity to inspire others. There will never be a need to test such a skill, at least in my case.

Life is full of subtle delusions. Choose ones that will move you forward. The theatre of your mind is your show. There is no harm in creating a positive phantasm rather than a disaster. Each of us is an event that won’t be encored. We are all as special and valuable as our heroes.

 

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